It never fails to amaze me that suicide leaves such a horrible mark on those left behind. I have lost a few friends over the years and one more recently to suicide which makes me wonder, do they realize the hurt they leave behind?
I am sure there are a million therapists and psychiatrists who can answer that question in a rational and scientific way but I am not sure that will help here. Believe me I understand the feelings of helplessness and sadness that lead one to contemplate suicide, I have been there but it is necessary to to take a step back and wonder….what about my mom? Will she ever forgive herself? What about my sister? Will she forgive me? My poor dad. What about my husband/wife? What will this do to them?
The guilt instilled in me by my Roman Catholic upbringing stops me every time and the feelings os despair eventually give way to happiness. Believe me I am thankful everyday that I chose to live. But that does not change the sadness my friend has left. It was so unlike her to be selfish, she was always considerate about the feelings of others, its like she had a momentary lapse of judgement; it should not have been a permanent one.
Now everyone is left to pick up the pieces she left behind. With no answers or clues its hard to put together this puzzle. I hope that no matter the cause she has found the peace she was searching for.
“She flew up to heaven on the wings of angels”
